Thursday, January 5, 2012

JUSTIFYING MYSELF...OR NOT

A guy calling himself Craig (I have no idea whether or not that's his real name. I, myself, use my real name so that anybody who wants a piece of me can come and try to get it. I'm certain I will be at the top of President BO (the child president)'s list of detainees, which he asserts he will never do, even though he signed an order giving himself the right to detain Americans without due process if he wants to.), asked about my last post (see below) if I was drunk.

He called my post "odd."

For the record, I have had only two sips of alcoholic beverage in my 70 years of life, and one of those made me throw up. Cough syrup tastes better.

My post was about the names of our prospective presidents and referred back to a post I wrote some months before the last presidential election.

Being a liberal, Craig (if that's his real name) was unable to see the humorous, quirky nonsense with which the post was written and actually tried to make sense of it.

Bad liberal! Bad liberal!

You shouldn't have received your education at a government school.

See, presidents should have real American names. Names like George, John, Thomas, James, Andrew, Martin, William, (OK, Zachery and Millard weren't so cool), Franklin, Abraham, (Uh...I guess Useless...I mean Ulysses and Rutherford weren't that good either), Chester, Grover (not the guy from Sesame Street, although I must admit I don't know what street Cleveland was from), Benjamin, Ted (Theodore), (Woodrow? Who the heck names his kid Woodrow?), Warren, Calvin, Herbert, Frank, Harry, (OK...I'll give you that Dwight and Lyndon weren't so good), Gerald, Jimmy, and RONALD.

Don't you see that most of those were good old-fashioned, common American names?

Who in the world would name an American child Mitt, Newt or Barack?

And then expect them to run for president?

Then along comes Fredd, and takes my joy away by calling the Iowa caucuses "King Makers."

(He also tries to put soccer ahead of baseball on the boring list, but that's another story...I think).

I prefer to think of Iowa as Chance Killers (not that they kill by accident, but that they kill the chances of some very good people, namely: Michelle and Rick (both solid American names).

I would include Newt in that list, but you already know how I feel about that name.

So Craig, try to keep up, no matter how much of a headache it gives you.

Would somebody please pass the Jack Daniels?

18 comments:

Ducky's here said...

Joe, your material often isn't funny.

It was difficult to determine if you were serious about Mitt. The fringe is always finding new reasons to dislike him.

Ducky's here said...

Is Herman an acceptable name?

How about L'il Ricky Retardo?

Ducky's here said...

Mitt's real name is Willard. Not much better.

Fredd said...

Don't listen to numbskull Ducky, Joe, as he doesn't know his anus from a hole in the ground about anything.

Your stuff is hillarious. Especially if it includes quotes from Larry the Cable Guy.

And you are more correct than me, Iowans are indeed Chance Killers, I withdraw the King Makers comment.

Joe said...

Ducky: If I had used a few foul words (like chicken, duck, goose, etc.) it would have been funnier to a liberal.

They only like filthy language. It's in their genes (when other things aren't in the way).

George Carlin, for instance, was histerically funny when he was on Johnny Carson, but liberals liked him better in his HBO specials when he could be vulgar.

That's the very deeply ingrained nature of liberals.

Fredd: No need to withdraw. I just saw a chance to have some fun with it.

Plus, Ducky wouldn't know humor if it struck him in the face...which I wish it would.

Craig said...

A guy calling himself Craig (I have no idea whether or not that's his real name.

Yeah, "Craig" is a clever pseudonym.

I, myself, use my real name so that anybody who wants a piece of me can come and try to get it.

My name is Craig. I would never use my last name, too many psychopaths on righty blogs.

For the record, I have had only two sips of alcoholic beverage in my 70 years of life,

You haven't missed much.

Being a liberal, Craig (if that's his real name) was unable to see the humorous, quirky nonsense with which the post was written and actually tried to make sense of it.

Humor and quirkiness are subjective, I suppose. I'm told I have a very dry sense of humor. It doesn't always translate to writing. It's also quite possible that what I've written just isn't funny. Get my drift? If you're drilling for comedy crude by riffing on presidents names, the well is tapped out.

My man was Herman Cain. MB and RP were also on my go-list. Loved Fred Thompson back when.

I think you're on to something here. That's funny.

Joe said...

Craig: "My name is Craig."

And I am supposed to believe that why?

Could I see some documentation, please?

Well, the well might be tapped out, but I wouldn't count on me not drilling for it some more.

And don't try to talk me out of it.

Craig said...

Could I see some documentation, please?

If you give me your word you're not psychotic.

Well, the well might be tapped out, but I wouldn't count on me not drilling for it some more.

I've got a dead horse that needs beating.

Lisa said...

Strawsoul is a racist just check out his hate filled blog"

Joe said...

Craig: "I've got a dead horse that needs beating."

Fax him/her over to me and I'll take care of that for you.

Lisa: He is not only a racist, he is out of here.

Lisa said...

good Joe . He's an instigator.

Craig said...

good Joe . He's an instigator.

Joe rassles gators.

Ducky's here said...

Fascinating, Joe, you even know what comedy shows "liberals" prefer. Odd you mention Carlin.Ever see his Baseball vs. Football routine? Pretty solid.

But tell me. How did you come to discover that folks at a Carlin concert are "liberals"? Exit interviews?

Joe, here's a test. You know I'm involved in film. Well I have a library of well over 1000 films.

How many would you guess are sexually explicit?
How many would you guess have extensive "vulgar" dialog?

I'm curious what you think.

Z said...

gad, what a mess.
Sorry you're going through this, Joe.
Now people are insulting peoples' NAMES? How adult.
WOW. They MUST be nervous.
Ducky doesn't have humor, Joe, don't even try.

Joe said...

Ducky; "Joe, here's a test."

I wouldn't have the slightest idea...and couldn't care less. It would mean nothing.

Z: Mostly it shows how hard it is for a liberal mind to get the point of either a post or a comment.

It just doesn't compute with them.

I talk about the inactivity of eight men on the field while only one is doing anything, and they want to talk about what the ball does in a fraction of a second.

You gotta feel very, very sorry for them.

They know not what they do.

sue hanes said...

Joe - the picture of the squirrel passed out on Vodka is priceless



and so cute

sue hanes said...

Joe - 'they know not what they do'


That reminds me of the last part of something Someone else said -

once

Ducky's here said...

But Joe, you know all about liberals. You have your pithy little profile. Should be easy.