Saturday, February 2, 2013

SWINE

A commenter on an earlier post told me to warn people about some of the people mentioned in my posts with the warning: SWINE!

Actually, I refuse to do that for a very personal reason.

I am the founder of, and charter member of SWINE.

For the uninformed, SWINE stands for Seniors Wildly Indignant about Nearly Everything.

It's a wonderful organization with a dynamic CEO (me), a uni-static membership (me), and a great history of accomplishing almost nothing.

We (meaning "I") are (meaning "am") actively recruiting members.

To be considered a member, one only has to leave one very indignant remark (preferably pro-conservative, but that is not a requirement) in my comments section, to have been born at an early age and to be able to express himself/herself in a clear manner.

Don't delay! Join now and receive nothing in return.

But wait! There's more!

If you are among the first 50 seniors to join, you will receive two nothings in return absolutely free (just pay separate shipping and handling.)

If you are not a senior, it is perfectly acceptable to lie about your age.

I know. If you are a conservative that will be a challenge. If you are a liberal, it will come easy to you.

(If you are too young, consider joining the youth auxiliary: Students Wildly Indignant about Nearly Everything).

Act now, before the opportunity to join Seniors Wildly Indignant about Nearly Everything passes like the gas from an...well, never mind.

Help bring home the bacon! Join Seniors Wildly Indignant about Nearly Everything.

Be a SWINE today!

10 comments:

Lone Ranger said...

"Senior" means one thing at Country Kitchen, but quite another at Wu's Chinese Buffet. What age are we talking about?

sue hanes said...


Joe - Sign me up. Do I get a free t-shirt?

Joe said...

LR: "Senior" means one thing at Country Kitchen..."

Actually it's Spanish.

Not really. The only qualification is that you be a member of UURP.

sh: No, you get what I promised: nothing (unless you sign up today, in which case you get nothing twice).

Fredd said...

Cute, Joe.

Much like those old cranky guys who remember "Chicken Man," S.W.I.N.E. was initially concocted by the idiots at Mad Magazine (Alfred E. Newman and the boys) during the 1960's as a parody of the hippies on every campus in the country protesting this and protesting that.

Students Wildly Indignant about Nearly Everything has been around for some time, but the Senior chapter has promise. Since I leave snarky comments on your site all the time, can I get my membership back dated?

That, and I am 57.9 years old, do I need to lie about my age, since Wendy's gives me 10% off my chili for anyone over 55?

Ducky's here said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ducky's here said...

How about something like :

Shutterbugs Wildly Indignant about Nearly Everything?

XO might also join but there is a lot he and I aren't indignant about.

Joe said...

Fredd: Some more places to find the pre-Mad history of S.W.I.N.E.

http://www.encyclopedia.com/topic/Al_Capp.aspx

http://lubbockonline.com/interact/blog-post/may/2011-10-03/%E2%80%9Cstudents-wildly-indignant-about-nearly-everything%E2%80%9D#.UQ1pkB2YuSo

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salomey

Ducky's here said...

Marxist: "The workers have nothing to sell but their labor power"

Neoliberal: "I offer courses on How to Sell Your Labor Power Like A Shark"

Xavier Onassis said...

In the word's of Groucho Marx, "PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT PEOPLE LIKE ME AS A MEMBER"!

Joe said...

Ducky: "I offer courses on How to Sell Your Labor Power Like A Shark"

Is shutterbugging considered Labor Power?

XO: There is no resigning, but you can certainly serve with dishonor.